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February 1
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i.
The devil watched me dreaming,
kissed my wrists
and painted my lips with blood.

ii.
I bartered for my place in heaven,
but I was buried too deep
to be heard.

iii.
He pushed me
out to sea and I
valiantly tried to drown.
theWrittenRevolution
Q: Is there a clear enough 'story line' within the poem? Did you find it potent, image- and language-wise, or did it come off too weak? Do you think I should expand on it (i.e. Is it too brief? Are the images developed enough?)?

--

A third DLD! :faint: Thank you so much. I'm simply incredulous and so, so honoured. TwilightPoetess and NamelessShe you are both Goddesses. - 28.03.2014
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:iconprimalfuryan:
primalfuryan Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Professional General Artist
:iconaparazita-r::iconsquirrelflight-77:Your artwork has been graciously featured in Titans Genuine Literature feature ,stay wonderful!Hug:iconsquirrelflight-77::iconaparazita-r:
fav.me/d7if01o
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:icon91816119:
91816119 Featured By Owner May 15, 2014   Writer
:faint: :heart:
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Truth be told, I did feel as if the "catharsis" was not... well portrayed. At least for me :shrug:

I say this because this comment might not do justice to the poem itself. What I get from this is poem are three chapters: the first is the person... I guess succumbing to his immoral desires, or to vices which are not in good taste; In the second, the person is long gone... His condition is such that he cannot be accepted as an "acceptable" part of the community of the good; which is why he seeks limbo in the third chapter - the devil, or probably a demon of sorts, pushes the person into the sea and leaves them to rot in there... Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be, as he cannot drown (hence, the "I valiantly tried" portion).

:shrug: again, that's what I got from this poem. I don't know if it was a tangible comment or not, but that's what I got from this work. All in all, well done :clap: It definitely deserves the DLD (now of course, that DLD is a rarity and is just a badge to carry around everywhere - nice! )
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:icon91816119:
91816119 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014   Writer
As always, I am of the opinion that any interpretation of my work is correct, so I definitely agree with your points - however the title was less of an indication of the poem's contents, and more something to be decoded by the reader. By this I mean that the 'catharsis' would be nigh on impossible to see in the poem's violent and morbid nature, but the catharsis is that lack of comprehension within a reader: to not understand the speaker's logic in 'trying to drown' is to achieve a certain catharsis (to realise that one is not weighed down by such emotion). I am so pleased, though, that you could clearly picture the tale within the poem. Almost spot on! :heart:
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:) Thanks, appreciate it.

And that is what was meant by catharsis eh? :nod: Then its quite a poem you've written here. Well done :)
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:icon91816119:
91816119 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014   Writer
Well, that was the intention, but you can absolutely take what you want from it! :aww:
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:) I take it for what its worth - a good poem overall.
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Amazing as always! :D
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:icon91816119:
91816119 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014   Writer
:aww: You are too kind, love. :tighthug:
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:hug: You're one to talk.
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